Pyro the Mutant
by ColdFusion180
Summary: Pyro enjoys being out and about while attempting to brighten up other people's day. Literally.


**Pyro the Mutant**

"Ah, it's great to finally be outside the base," Pyro chirped as he happily strode down the streets of Bayville. "Nothing but bright skies, fresh air and lots and lots of fun!"

Pyro paused for a moment and watched as several people passed by. "Boy, what a gloomy place. Nobody is smiling and everything is all glum and blah. Well I know how to fix that!"

Pyro grinned as he flicked out his lighter and casually set a nearby trashcan on fire. He used his powers to make it look like a giant flaming Christmas tree. "There, that oughta brighten people up!"

"AAAHHHHHH!" People screamed as the flames quickly spread to a nearby bus shelter as well as several streetlights.

"MY PURSE!" A woman shrieked as it was consumed by the blaze. "NOOOOOO!"

"HELP! CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT!" Another person yelled.

"Yay, good idea!" Pyro giggled letting loose another fire stream. "A department of people dedicated to promoting fire can help spread the joy of lovely flames to everyone!"

"GAAAHHHHHH!" People screamed as Pyro created a herd of fire horses and had them swarm across the street. They soon caused a six-car pileup while setting fire to everything they came across.

"Ooo, pretty!" Young girls laughed as they watched a pair of fire horses leap over a downed semi truck and set fire to some traffic lights.

"Hahahahaha!" Pyro cackled as he formed a flock of fire birds and had them fly into the air. "Fire is good! Fire is life and fills people with peace, hope, warmth and happiness!"

"AAAGGGHHHHHH!" People ran around in panic while trying to avoid being set alight.

"THIS IS IT! THE END IS UPON US!" The abandoned semi truck driver wept while hiding in a dumpster.

"Flames for everyone!" Pyro spread his hands wide and sent a bright fire halo shooting into the sky.

"AAAHHHHHH! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" One terrified man screamed like a girl. "THE WHOLE PLACE HAS GONE PSYCHO!"

"Not psycho, mate. Pyro!" Pyro laughed cheerfully as he released another set of fire birds. "It's all thanks to Pyro the Amazing. Pyro the Awesome! Pyro the..." He skipped away with giggling to himself. "_Pyro the mutant!_ _Is a jolly, happy bloke! With a bright and free personality and who loves to laugh and joke!_"

"YAAAHHHHHH!" People yelped as flames began to explode like fireworks.

"_Pyro the mutant! Spreading flames to one and all!_" Pyro sang as he continued down the street. "_Lighting up the day so that all can play Fire Tag and Fire Ball!"_

"HELP! GET THEM AWAY FROM US! AAAIIIEEEEEEEEE!" A group of lawyers shrieked as they ran from an avalanche of flaming tetherballs.

"ATTENTION! THIS IS THE POLICE!" Several cops appeared and tried to establish a perimeter. "EVERYONE MOVE BACK AND TRY TO REMAIN CALM...AAAGGGRRRHHH!"

"'_Twas thanks to his genetics that his great powers abound!_" Pyro made some fire puppies and sent them to play with the police. "_And let all of his fire friends sing and laugh and dance around!_"

"OW! OW! OW! OW! OW!" The cops screamed and ran around with their pants on fire. "YEEEOOOWWW! THAT HURTS! OWIE! OWIE! OWIE!"

"_Pyro the mutant! Filled with mirth, ardor and glee!_" Pyro giggled while making fire streams of different colors. "_Spending all the while bringing laughs and smiles with the help of flames' beauty!_"

WEE-UUU! WEE-UUU! WEE-UUU!

A pair of fire engines sped around a corner and quickly arrived at the scene. Unfortunately, the drivers were blinded by the multicolored streams of fire and ended up crashing into each other.

CRASH!

TINKLE! TINKLE!

"Ohhh..." The poor fire fighters moaned.

"Hehehehehe!" Pyro ignored the downed fire engines and set down the street once again. "_Pyro the mutant! Sensed the flames were getting cool! So to quench their thirst he went and dispersed scouts to find suitable fuel!_"

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" People fled in terror as the horde of fire animals ran amok.

"But it's not my fault!" Duncan protested as he was escorted out of a building. "I thought for sure the teacher said we were having a field trip to the bank today!"

"Save it, Mr. Matthews," Principal Kelly said sternly walking behind him. "Cutting class is a serious offence. Good thing I was hear to make a withdra...I mean, **deposit** to the school's bank account...AAAHHHHHH!"

"_Down the avenue! Leading flames without a loss!_" Pyro did so while waving about grandly. "_Roaming near and far! Burning every car! That he haps to come across!_"

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

"MY CAR!" Kelly screamed as the street rocked from the explosions.

"MY BABY!" Duncan wailed and fell to his knees. "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"_He burned them down! Right to the ground! Feeling the fires glow!_" Pyro giggled skipping past the line of destroyed cars. "_Then he raised his hands in triumph and urged all of them to __GROW__!_"

WHOOOSSSHHHHHH!

"AAAIIIEEEEEEEEE!" Duncan shrieked as the remains of the cars exploded into towering pillars of fire.

"LOOK OUT! AAAHHHHHH!" Kelly screamed and dove headfirst down an open manhole.

SPLOOSH!

"Yeah! Yeah!" Pyro cackled maniacally as he happily bounced away. "_Bumpety, bump bump! Bumpety, bump bump! Look at that Pyro go!_"

"Ohhh," Kelly moaned poking his head out of the sewer. "I hate my life... I really hate my life..."

"_Bumpety, bump, bump! Bumpety, bump, bump! Fueling an inferno!_" Pyro grinned skipping off in the direction of the sun. "_Pyro the mutant!_ _What a jolly, happy bloke! With a bright and free personality and who loves to laugh and joke!_"

"YAAAHHHHHHHHH!" A pair of overweight CEOs fled from a large, flaming dinosaur.

"_Pyro the mutant! Felt the fun was near an end!_" Pyro turned and dramatically placed a hand over his heart. "_But he waved goodbye saying, 'Don't you cry'..._"

"Mommy?" Duncan sobbed while hiding underneath a mailbox.

"_I'll be back to burn agaaainnnnnnnnn!_" Pyro grinned and sent out one final fire ball.

"Eeep?" Kelly whimpered before falling back into the sewer.

KA-BOOOOOOOOOM!

"AAAUUUGGGHHHHHHHHH!" People yelled as the fire ball exploded, showering the street with sparking ribbons of flame.

"Hahahahaha!" Pyro laughed happily as everything burned around him. "It's good to be Pyro!"

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men: Evolution or the song "Frosty the Snowman".**


End file.
